The Birth Story Series - Molly’s Story
Welcome to the Birth Story Series! Sharing birth stories helps normalize birth and takes some of the fear of the unknown out of the equation. I am excited to share this space to honor birth stories from women in our community. Birth is transformative, beautiful, and profound no matter how it happens!
If you'd like to share your birth story send us an email by filling out our contact form here. All birth experiences and stories are welcome here; epidural, unmedicated, c-section, loss, home birth, however birth looked for you, this is a safe space to share!
My first birth was pretty traumatic, requiring about every intervention short of a c-section and I ended up with a 4th degree tear. I made up my mind pretty early in my pregnancy that I wanted to do a natural birth and basically learn and do everything different from my first.
I was 39+3. It was Tuesday 9/14. I felt like I had wrapped things up at work and was prepared to go any day. A couple of people said they thought I looked like I had "dropped". I had been feeling increased Braxton Hicks contractions only I was feeling them lower in my uterus-but I didn't really think too much of it, other than the time is coming soon. I was told that my long term sub would be at work for me tomorrow, so I could show her around. My daughter gave me my birthday present a few days early. It was a moss agate bracelet, which the clerk at the rock shop said is used to "aid in labor"....basically, everything was falling perfectly into place that day.
Around 2 am, I was woken up by the fire alarm, alerting us that the batteries were low. Pretty soon all the alarms in the house were going off simultaneously. As I was laying there awake, I felt one more strong, menstrual like cramp. A few minutes later, I felt my water break, a slow trickle that wouldn't stop. I called the hospital, they said to come in but I didn't have to leave immediately. I took my time, mixing up my "labor-ade" concoction and packing my hospital bag.
We arrived at the hospital around 3:30 am. At this point, I was feeling small contractions, but they weren't painful at all. The midwife said that I could hang out for a few hours to see how I progress on my own. If I didn't, she would want to start me on Pitocin...oh no, I thought, this was the same way my first birth started...
About 7am the midwife told me that my contractions slowed way down. Darn, I thought I was just good at handling contractions. She agreed to start with a low dose of Pitocin. From about 7-11 the nurse would come in and slowly increase my dose. I was practicing focused breathing through each, in through the nose and out through the mouth. My mom arrived by then and was helping me try different positions. about 11:30 I decided I wanted to get in the tub. My husband went home to shower and I labored alone in the tub for about an hour. My contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I let out a low, deep moan from the tub, and just when I was about to ask to get out, the nurse said "Ok, I think it's time you get out".
My husband got back about 12:30. By then, I was in active labor full force. I could not get into any good position. As I was draped over a peanut ball, I declared that I wanted the epidural because I just couldn't take any more. My mom and my husband were supportive of me, and my husband reminded me that I told him to tell me to push through. I learned in my birthing classes that when you start asking for "the drugs" and saying that you can't possibly go on, you are in transition, and that means that you're getting so close to the end. Well, that's definitely true. As I continued to wait and wait for this epidural that just wasn't coming (they started setting up an IV for it), the midwife informed me that she could feel the baby making his way down, so she was going to have me start pushing and there would be no epidural. Yikes. At this point I had started taking the nitrous oxide.
I got into a position on my side where the midwife said I was least likely to tear (which was one of my biggest fears). Immediately on my next contractions I felt like it was ok for me to push. Through each contraction to push, I waited to my body to tell me tell me what to do. I screamed into the nitrous mask for each one, but only pushed when it felt right. After I would come out of each contraction, I could hear the team tell me that I was doing great-I had such an amazing supportive team and never once did they yell at me to push when I wasn't ready. Each contraction was such a surreal experience and despite screaming through them, I was telling myself "just open up", "opening and stretching" and "relax your body".
After an hour and ten minutes of pushing, my baby boy came out and it was the biggest rush of endorphins I've ever felt. I was so glad it was over and hearing him cry and feeling his warmth as they placed him on me was the best feeling in the world. I did it. I delivered a 9 1/2 pound baby naturally and got by with a second degree tear-which I call a win.
